Psychiatric Hotline

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive,
please press 1, repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities,
please press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

~Away Message I saw somewhere and thought was hilarious