As I sit here on my grandparent's porch,
I hear the birds singing and Mexican music ringing in my ears
My grandmother is very ill and just thinking about it...
I can't sit still.
She looks fine to me
But according to my parents
I cannot see.
I don't know...
Everything seems so surreal
As if I were to try to touch the ground I would not feel.
Brothers laughing and taunting
Old memories haunting
I try to think of a time when I was happy
When I could smile and play without being frowned upon an turned away.
So many cold night and days as if the sun itself was slain
And whatever I do
Or whatever I say
Could not stop the the pain and fears or the tears that come down my cheeks
FOrcing myself not to face the truth but when I try to forget
A new worry forms in its wake
I feel as if I'm stuck in an endless maze
Wondering when I'll come out of this everlasting haze
I live and breathe and the words I cannot speak
So as I write on
Birds singing
Mexican music ringing
Brothers laughing at the disaster I am,that I will ever be
Eternally.
Just face it...don't ever ask me to change because I will always be the same
