Letter to my mother #1

I'm sitting here on this big cloud shaped rock, thinking of all the times you made me smile, and all the times you made me cry.
Feeling this cool rivers waters rushing over my feet stinging me like darts.
I look at the river rushing by all around me, realizing its a lot like my life. Always going, never stopping to see the beauty in life. All of the paths the water makes, is lie ka story from my life.
The size of the path is the size of the problem.
Curved paths, meaning I didn't know which way to go.
But, well I never know which way to go. Because you were always holding me down. Always messing with my thoughts.
Yuor voice always as harsh as the rivers quick current. I always felt trapped on an island, like the way I feel on this rock.
Surrounded by cold, harsh currents, and no way to find peace.
But things are different now, I've tried to forget you,But it's too hard. Because I still need you. Well, at least the child in me stil needs you. But maybe I do need you more than I would care to admit. I hate you for not protecting me against him though. But yet I still want your love. My mind keeps changing like the river and its paths.