Right kind of wrong

Sitting here wondering whether or not I should give it another try.
Wondering if it would make a difference this time.
It's weird how you ask yourself these questions,
when you already know the answer.
Maybe because you think it'll make you feel better.
Or maybe because you think it will make it easier on you,
when you shoot yourself point blank in the head.
Well it doesn't.
Nothing feels better then knowing you don't have to go through one more day.
With your alcoholic father and abusive mother.
Sister that doesn't even care, let alone talk to you.
And friends that might as well think you're depressed.
But it'll all be over soon..
All I gotta do is pull the trigger.
So.. why haven't I?