She has always seen me as
her big sister who does no wrong
someone that always makes the best
decisions and grades
someone that has too many phone calls from
all her friends
But what if she knew
that the sister she looks up to
struggles everyday with making the right
decisions
and countless times has failed
I dont think she could guess
how lost and alone I am at times
how some days all I want to do is
lock myself in my room and blast
the radio while screaming into my pillow
I don't think she'll ever know
about the nights I cry myself
to sleep
and didn't want to wake up
the next morning
I wonder what she would do if she knew
the reason I always have my phone
is a fear of not being there for my
friend
who might not make it
until tomorrow
If I told her would she understand
the reason I love music
is because it's the one thing in
my life I can control and that
I can relate to
How would she react if she knew
that my grades are a reflection of how
much time I study
and that they aren't
easy A's
Will she ever comprehend
how scary it is to me
that I'm her role model
because I don't want her
to make the same mistakes
I did
Will there ever come a time
when I can tell her all I've done
hoping she'll learn from my
mistakes
without her being embarrassed
by being called
my little sister
