You Don't even know

by Chelsey   Apr 30, 2006


You say you gave me a wonderful childhood
But oh mom you don’t even know
Of the feelings and burdens I carry
That I promised myself I will never show

You don’t even know my
Confusion,
Frustration,
And tears
You’d never guess my
Prayers,
Dreams
And fears

Yes you were raped quite a lot when you were little
But you’ll never know what happened to me
What your nephew did in your home one night
Gave me endless headaches, crying nights I couldn’t breathe

You’ll never know what you and dad did to me
By your constant yelling and fights
I’d be crying in bed all hours
Writing poems in the dark at night

You’ll never know of the tears that fall
Because to me a big sister was not supplied
Unfortunately you are older now
And that prayer request has been denied

I’ve been in so much pain over my Grandpa’s
Its hurts so bad that we never got to meet
Your stories of him just kill me
Death to meet him may be a treat

You know the miles that come between me and my brother?
Guess how many times I cried over that?
So many that I have lost count
And where was everyone on that?

You have no room to judge my childhood
Just by the emotions you seen
You think my life has been so good
But mom I got your emotional gene

I guess you’ll never understand me
That I’ve been hurt so many times
My heart is just now beating normal again
And I’m not saying your life has been easier than mine

You’d just never know mom
Of the times I’ve hurt over stuff
So sociably and physically my life’s been good
But emotionally I’ve had it rough

You’d never know if you didn’t
Wonder,
Question,
Or ask
You never know I hide under
Blankets,
Smiles,
And a mask

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by ♥•oOo Nikki oOo•♥©

    Brilliance!!! I Loved This Part
    You say you gave me a wonderful childhood
    But oh mom you don’t even know
    Of the feelings and burdens I carry
    That I promised myself I will never show

    You don’t even know my
    Confusion,
    Frustration,
    And tears
    You’d never guess my
    Prayers,
    Dreams
    And fears &
    You’d never know if you didn’t
    Wonder,
    Question,
    Or ask
    You never know I hide under
    Blankets,
    Smiles,
    And a mask
    *I Loved The Format, I Loved Your Choice Of Descriptive Words, And I Think You Described Sadness Better Than Anyone I've Read Lately..I'm Speechless & Upset That My Computer Won't Let Me Comment On Your "Friendship Poems" :( 5/5 *With All My Luv* xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

  • 18 years ago

    by Cuddles

    Whoa!! Take it easy, girl. This was like a hit with an iron pipe in the pit of my somach. I'm reeling. Such a harsh way of living, always hiding the truth, never saying a word about anything. I know. That's my life. I am shaken. This poem has ripped out my heart and shredded it to pieces. Astounding write. I hope you don't really feel this way, but if you do and you want to talk just email me.

    Peace and love,
    Mary

  • 18 years ago

    by norman

    Wow this is realy good and i can relate to you perty well on this. i understand what its like to have parents yelling and never knowing what will hapen next.

  • 18 years ago

    by MeLiSsA

    Wow. this poem is really good.
    from the way you wrote, the words you used, to the way it was set up... its overall awesome. ill definetely vote 5/5 on this one.
    keep up the good work. ill check out some more of your poems.
    -melis- :-)

  • 18 years ago

    by Angie

    Chelz.... so heartbreaking and emotional. I agree with Diana^, sometimes we parents get so involved with our own little lives we tend to ignore some of what our kids are going through. I learned that I did that from my own daughter cause she had the nerve to tell me to my face and I changed and I respect and love her even more for telling me. As a child myself, I went through a lot of emotional things and never told anyone, hid my problems and as an adult had anxiety and depression and then even as an adult there are a lot of things that have happened, rape for one, but I learned this time to open up and talk about it. I still have anxiety and depression problems at times because of it, but I've learned how to deal with it. Just remember that I'm here if you need to talk about anything. I love you girl. A write that's so tragic yet beautifully written.

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