Stupidness

I knew since the first week that i
met you that you
were someone special. but i was afraid
afraid to admit it.
afraid to be treated like sh-- i
gave him my trust
to never hurt me. so i slowly
let myself into his
life hoping one day to be his
wife i could be
me around him and not care i
bought him a panda
bear i set myself up for the
fall that I'm in
i have no one to blame but
myself i knew it
would happen i have never had a
guy stay in my
life what made him any different. but
i still only want
my punkin. no one else EVER I'm
thinking maybe i was
used this whole time i guess i
really ain't worth a
dime. i love him with my heart and
soul and always will
i wish he honestly knew how i
feel he told me
he wanted to be with me forever
now i guess it'll
be never i don't want to be
without my baby i
know i made mistakes but I'm willing
to admit it I'm
sorry for not always doing whats right
thats why we always
fight i never got noticed when i
tried to do something
right or just do anything for him
at all only if
he didn't like it he said something
i never got any
encouragement on at least trying i cant
stop thinking its only
because I'm by myself i lost my
baby only if he
could forgive me i cant be without
him i wont make
it ill never be truly happy. to
him i never made
any changes but i did trying to
make him love me
more but he didn't notice either hes
my life i wish
i had a knife to end my misery