Isn't it funny how much I have changed in the short span of one week. A week ago I was not this way. A week ago I was not confused in the weird, funny, unknown way I am now. But its kinda an okay confusion...do not ask how cause even I do not know. It feels like the real me is forcing her way out of all the shells, all the protections and covers. I was me once and then something happened to kill me. And now its like she decided to be resurrected and she will be known and she will be seen. It is not the fact that she is bad...it is my fear. My fear of being rejected for who I really am. My fear of being me and just being even lonelier than I am right now. Even in a crowd I feel alone. I guess in a way I want to been seen instead of looked through. I do not want to care what people say about me, basically I do not want to care. And I feel like crying at the moment and I do not know why. I want to feel safe in my own skin. I want to feel safe around the people I hold close. I do, but then again, I do not and I do not freaking understand it! Please, Goddess, please, someone help me. Make this ache in my heart disappear. Make me feel. Make me safe. Please, someone, anyone, make me safe. Help me live. Make these scars on my soul, my heart, my mind, my body, my spirit, disappear. Save me from the pain I am being eaten by. It has happened before, its happening now and I know it will happen again and again. Its the cycle of my own pain and stupidity killing me slowly, pealing my skin away , tearing up my heart, breaking my mind, shattering my soul and consuming my spirit... Just someone, anyone, help me this time...and maybe all the next ones...
