Again

I am doing it again. I am pulling back, closing people out. I am pushing away the people I use to hold close. Its like they have hurt me in some samall minute way and it stung and burned like nothing I have never known. Every time I pull close it happens and then I give that small shove that says and means everything.

Then, its like none of them can see it. I want to get close again but their is a fear, I guess I am full of fears, there that holds me back. Its as if all me instincts are screaming at me not to do it because I am going to get really hurt and this time I won't be able to take it.