I feel so lost, so broken, and I don't know why. I can feel the tears just waiting to fall, all they need is a good reason. My life seems so plan, so barren. I feel like I am the same as everyone else, when all I want now is to be different. I like the person I made my self into. She is carefree, a little outgoing and is herself no matter what any one else says. But now it seems like she is just another shell. Another cover to hid under. To cower under. I am so confused its pathetic. My moods are like an endless whirlpool. They pull me down and drown me in whatever emotion I happen to be feeling at the moment. My anger, my hurt, my confusion. They all overwhelm me and I can't breath, let alone live, through it. I don't even know who I am any more. its like my mind has swallowed my soul and won't cough it back up, no matter how hard I chock on it. I feel like standing up and screaming at the world, at life and people in general. I don't want to be the same as everyone else. I don't want to be what people want me to be. I want to be myself, even though I haven't figured who I am yet. I need to go through my phase thing again and make my own mistakes, my own decisions, and its like no one can understand that. Its like no one can seem me screaming out. I cry inside because life hasn't thrown me a bomb, I have. It's not physical or even emotional pain, it's mental. It's like my own darkness is finally closing in on me and their's not a damn thing I can do. I can't fight back, so I just sit here and let it consume me. I want to scream "HELP ME!" but I know I have to be the one to do this. I have to pull my self up out my own dark abyss. I got myself here somehow and I'll figure out how to get myself out...maybe...
