I hate how when I seem to have something good finally happening,
like I can be happy with everything & have no more hurt in me,
its taken away just as fast as it came along.
As if im not supposed to be happy.
But why? Why am I not aloud to be happy.
why am I forced into feeling like this all the time.
I try so hard to feel good, to think about all the things great in my life.
Im not suposed to feel like this, I have so much more than other people. A loving family, a house, clothes, food, everything.
But still I feel like this. Every single day.
It isnt fair.
Why out of everything just once cant I get something to work out for me.
just once.
why is that?
Im just me.
struggling to stay afloat, to stay above water.
No one sees it.
Sure people ask whats wrong,
but as soon as I respond with nothing they dont bother.
just once,
once I wish someone would care enough to help me out.
give me something to hold on to.
but it never happens,
I stopped expecting it years ago.
I think the worst part about it is that I put everything into this one thing,
this one little tiny insignificant thing that would just make me happy,
you
you cant even try enough for me
it breaks my heart every time.
Ill never have it.
& Im alone again.
