These Feelings Words Just Can't Express

I know that I've moved on,
But I still get this certain feeling.
These feelings words just can't express,
And till now I don't understand it's meaning.

The feeling of how I want you far away,
Yet I want you to be near.
How things seems so complicated,
But in a way, it all seems so clear.

How in my heart you feel so close,
Yet somehow you feel so distant.
How I want you here with me now,
But to vanish in another instant.

How I wish you would call,
Yet I don't want to answer the phone.
How I'm dying to hear your voice,
But I want you to leave me alone.

The feeling of how I miss you so much,
Yet I'm too afraid to show.
How I long to say I love you,
But I'm too afraid to even say "hello".

How I wish I'll never speak to you again,
Yet deep inside I've so much to say.
How I show that I hate you so much,
But every night, for you I'd pray.

How I know you'll never take me back,
Yet inside I still have hope.
How I know things will go well for me,
But at the moment I just can't cope.

The feeling of how I'm looking towards the future,
Yet I still wish I could turn back the time.
How I say "I know that I've moved on",
But I'm still writing on this rhyme.