Hey, this was amazing...i really liked it...and i used to be just like you...the best advice i have..is give it up while you can...slowly work on it...you may have to work on it for awhile...but sooner or later you will realize that you do not need it anymore...once i quit, i looked back on it and i realized it was pointless...sure at the time it felt good..but then dont you find u feel guilty and what not? Iunno..thatz what i felt...todayz the day bud...do what you can...but give urself the credit for being strong, that you never totally gave up...your still here and thatz so awesome that you can help other ppl with these experiences too...anywayz, hope that helped...great write..ttyl
~Luv Alwayz Knoxy