Pain and sourowness

by jackie   May 2, 2006


Pain and sorroness
thats all i feel
my heart beats slow
time stands still i

feel the pain closing in
ill never be the same again
in the dark all alone
theres nowhere that i call home

i feel the pain in my arm
i see the story's in my scars
in the end all i knew
was i wasn't meant to be with you
and after everything was over
i felt my heart getting colder

the pain that i once felt is gone
i have no hopes of moving on
i cant find happiness anywhere i look
I'm sorry for the life i took

pain and sorroness
thats all i feel
my heart beats slow
time stands still

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by HOLLY ARMER

    I really like this, it's written with a lot of emotion and has a nice flow.
    However, there are a few typo's...
    In the title, first line, and first line of the last stanza it should be "Pain and sorrow". Sorrowness isn't a word.
    Then in this line:

    "i see the story's in my scars"

    It should be "I seen the stories in my scars".
    Also, you need to capitalize your I's. Other than those few things, it's really good.
    Take care and keep it up~Holly
    Oh and check out the discussion forum in the club :)

  • 18 years ago

    by Brandon

    Wow this is an amazing poem. It touched me. I love the feeling put into it. Great job, keep up the awesome work I hope to read more. 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by MaGs

    AWESOME!

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