Empty packet of pills

Tried suicide so many times, no thoughts left of succeeding
I had failed just the night before and I was tired of bleeding
So I swallowed twenty Panadols and headed for school
Unaware of what would follow, I now know I was a fool.
Feeling dizzy and confused but pretending all was okay
I stand and say nothing because I have nothing left to say
I go to class and the pills I took continue to hit in
Talking from no where, tired, faint, everything confused within
They ask what is wrong but by that time I dont even know
I can no longer remember what happened but I feel low
My head was throbbing so much that I could no longer stay
I left class and went straight to the sick bay

Next thing I knew I was in hospital unaware of what went on
I had doctors and nurses continually asking what was wrong
Saying "what did you take? What did you do?"
And I said "I didn't take anything"...if only I knew.
I was hallucinating and I was tired, they woke me every time I slept
So I sat in the hospital bed scared and confused and wept.
And after hours they said I had a virus and let me leave,
I was tired and sad going home was a relief.
I got home at twelve and got my clothes out of my draw
As I opened it the empty packet of pills fall onto the floor...

3rd May 2006

*** Last year I tried to kill myself and got close I realised I never wrote about it so I thought I should write and get it out of my system.***