We all have that one person who can shake our resolve and change our minds about things and it is hard to deny them and what they want I wish you the best of luck and hope you don't share my fate

Suggestions: Revise Grammar, break up lines, try and stray from the usual rhymes and repition of unnessary words. Mabe go into more detail. Exclaimation points scream words. Try and avoid them if you can.