Unwanted Emotions

A sea of emotions,
Wash over me,
If you look at my face,
Sadness is what you will see...

Tears stream down my face,
Cold and alone, isolated...
Never a smiling face,
Will pass me by.

Nor will a true smile appear,
On my gentle white skin,
But what you will see are scars,
Emotional and physical...
At the drop of a pin.

Its so tough,
Living to be me,
I want people to know who I am
Why cant they just see?...

Cant they just look,
Although hard and deep,
Trying to cover up my emotions,
But they still seem to seep..

Seeping from my eyes,
My neck, my wrist,
So immensely painful,
And their colours,
too many to list.

Some are clear,
Others a rich, crimson red,
If you look hard enough,
Youll see the stains,
On the wall and on the bed...

So tempting,
To put a gun to my head,
I dont want to live anymore,
But nor do I want to be dead.

I want to be happy,
To gain a new life,
To start over and fresh,
Never turning to the knife.

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!
THE PAIN IM IN, CANT YOU SEE?
ARE YOU THAT OBLIVIOUS TO THE FACT,
THAT IM STRUGGLING TO BE ME!