The things you do to me
The things you say
Really make me want to stray
You tell me nothing
And I beg
Then you speak
And my defenses break
I look into your eyes
And want to see more
But all there is
A vacancy, unadorned
You tell me soul and heart are unalike
Yet,
When I listen
When I think
They are very similar things
And when I search for your love
The love you claim to have for me
Have I been deceived?
How was this conflict conceived?
I can't help but fear
That one day you wont be here
I want to hug you so bad
To hold you
Love you
I want to lay beside you
And be comforted by the steady beat of your heart
But instead
I get choked
Whipped
Smacked
Scratched
Abused like I like
Then it goes too far
You frighten me with your rage
I fear you
I fear death
And still
Even in your wake
I beckon Him to me
Call for Death
Cry for Him
And wait for Him to take me
But you wrap me in an embrace
And comfort me
Shooing death away
Saving me
And hurting me
I somehow feel
My pain
My problems
My sorrows fade away
I don't know if its love or not
I don't even know if I'm awake
Perhaps my longing
And solitude
Are creating a fantasy
All fake
I wish it weren't so
I hope it isn't true
But when I sleep
When I cry
When I cut real deep
And even when I want to die
I only think of you
Your tormenting ways
Cruel
Yet somehow comforting words
But it always hurts
When you tell me you'd no sooner kill me
Than save me
Your control is great
Power fear invoking
Even when I am not the one you're choking
Not the one you're provoking
Your heartbreaking past
Flashes before my eyes
And I don't even know the half
But it still makes me cry
And you wonder why
When you already know
You've broken down my defenses
And weakened me
Leaving me vulnerable
Easily hurt
Then you yell
Tell me I could feel all along
But I've been this way
Empty
Alone
Since I was nine
Since my heart was last broken
You slipped past the gates
Slain the guards
With brute strength alone
And saved me from myself
Saved me from my fate
Tamed the beast within
You prevented an early death
But in return
Took away my breath
You studied me like a bug
Read me
Taught me
And helped me
Realize this life
Your life
My life
Are not gifts
But burdens
Yours
A great deal heavier than mine
More lethal
But I realize
Its a miracle your alive
How can you resist death?
How can you-
Why are you so strong?
You can amaze me
Frighten me
And make me feel safe
All at the same time
You
My savior
My hero
My cure
And somehow
My disease
The angel of light
And demon of night
You
Dante
The love of my life
