I like it i think all girls need to hear it!

I really think you need to try forming your poems into stanzas or verses. The two lines get a bit boring after reading them over and over. I say, try something new?..

Good peice, strong with a good rhythum and flow. though i agree with Darien about maybe trying a different structure.

this peice flows well thoughout and the content is well put together, however, the last line seems to lack the power and energy of the rest of the pece.