You never ask me how I feel or how I slept last night
You never ask me if I'm well or is everything alright
And you're never very interested in anything I do
You don't bother to show appreciation or even say thank-you
In fact I sometimes wonder what I mean if anything to you
You treat me like a dish cloth a dirty old wet rag
Maybe I'm too ugly and should wear a paper bag
Or don't I speak the proper way, mind my p's and q's
An embarrassment not quite good enough for you
You used to think me pretty suave and oh so very cool
Especially when you showed me off at the local pool
What happened in between to make us grow apart?
When did I go from the love of your life how did we get to this part?
You know I still love you I wish things would change
I wish we could go back to when things weren\'t so strange
Howabout I cover up my bald spot, throw away my cane
Send you in for surgery to make you young again
You can have that boob job you've wanted all your life
Get rid of all that extra flab while the doctors got his knife
And what about your gammy knees we'll get them fixed as well
And if you don't like me after that well you can go to hell.
