Its very touchy but i can say this hope for the best dear.....

good luck
CK

It's really deep though i think you could change some of your word choice

nothing to major though

you definetly have your own rhyme set up and your own rhythm unique to you, i'm glad

I enjoy reading people who write poetry with their own sense of style and craft.

i think you could cut this down and condence but i think it's good the way it is, just that you don't necessarly need to explain as much as you do in so many words
just remember, is what your writing important to the memory or the writing peice and is this a poem for just you or for everyone :) good job!

Good piece 5/5
kasia