Comments : The Story of a Little Girl

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    It's a pretty farfetched concept but with strong reality tied to it. The thought of people not being able to live in a world such as this is the fault of everyone living before us as well as ourselves. That's where the reality comes in.
    I think this line was a bit too long, though. Maybe if you wanted you can take out the please:
    Please can you help me die?".
    Could be
    can you help me die?"

  • 18 years ago

    by ShaunaMarie

    I like this poem, Its sad.
    much love,
    XxImnotdeadxX

  • 18 years ago

    by J Lau

    Great write. I love the flow of this and the emotions it portrays. It's such a sad poem yet so touching. Keep up the great work! 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Darien

    A very sad story. There as an intense emotion in the poem from beginning to end. A good write.

  • 18 years ago

    by Jessica

    Awww! i lovvvee story poems! and this poem is so deep.. keep it up!
    jessy

  • 18 years ago

    by gemowski

    This is a very heart touching poem, and really sad to read but i loved it.
    you've gotta a talent, good work hun.

    gema xoxooxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Fallen Angel

    I get the feeling that this poem is more of a metaphor than literal...maybe that's just me, the concept seems pretty far out, but the message is very clear. I really enjoyed reading this, a poem with an obvious meaning, a purpose, is always very welcome. The rhyme worked really well and the structure helped to break the poem up nicely. Really gripped me all the way through. Great read, 5/5 x

  • 18 years ago

    by Cueball24

    ........wow...........that was brillant!! I give it a billon!! Oh well I can only give a 5/5!! *kisses her lips* I love you hunni bunni.

  • 18 years ago

    by Brittany Leann

    Hey Cayce!! I really like this poem! It's really emotional and has a good rythmn to it! Keep up the good writing!
    ~Brittany~

  • 18 years ago

    by NannO

    Hey.. this is reli good.. its so sad and heartbreaking.. i liked ur rhyme and flow.. gr8 job with this poem.. i still believe the knife isnt the answer.. hope u find something to help u lok 4ward to each new day.. :)
    take care
    NannO

  • 18 years ago

    by x stella x

    Your poem was very touching and made me think ....well done its 5* rating god bless x

  • 18 years ago

    by Lacee

    HEY,
    GOOD WORK, I LOVE STORIES THAT ARE TOLD IN POEMS, KEEP IT UP,
    5/5
    LOVE YA

  • 18 years ago

    by disturbed one

    Woah...very nice poem...very realistic...its hard to imagine how people could actually do that to a child

  • 18 years ago

    by Megan

    This is extremely good. but it is really sad. lol i love it though!!

  • 18 years ago

    by Knuckles aka sunshine

    This poem showed a side to poeple that most are scaried of. i respect you for not caring what people think about your poem, and you still let your soul out through this one.

    keep up the great work5/5 :)

  • 18 years ago

    by Casey

    Wow!! I love it :)

  • 18 years ago

    by Casey

    Wow!! I love it :)

  • 18 years ago

    by Amanda

    Such a brilliantly written poem. Was a bit sad though and i do hope that you are alright. You clearly show how you are feeling and it gave a clear discription of the girl. :)

  • 18 years ago

    by ShadowDancer

    After reading that, i thought of all the things that little girl could stand for. to me, that gave the poem a whole new spin. the last stanza was exellent

    Ruby

  • Wow i really liked this poem!! Sad but entertaining!!! You did an amazing job!!! I love the story line!!! Amazing Work!! 5/5!!