So Young and sweet

by candi   May 9, 2006


A little girl so young and sweet,
Lying on the ground next to his feet.
A long simple grin upon his face,
This long cold moment he did not waste.

Her body stripped of itâ??s innocence,
Her spirit gone has left no presence.
The blood puddles on the ground,
No where is he the one to be found

She cried all night long, alone in her room,
Until he was the one that brought her to this tomb.
She awaits his footsteps, loud angry and mean.
As this untold story has much more to be seen.

He pounded down her door.
And threw her to the floor.
Her screams flooded the neighborhood,
She fought so hard, as much as she could.

Now this young sweet little girl is buried six feet under,
In a dark little coffin made of beautiful lumber.
He left us burdened with this pain.
Seen throughout the evening rain.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by TracyM

    I like it, there are a few things I think could have made it a better and more emotional read, such as the line "

    Her spirit gone has left no presence"

    you could play with this a little bit, as I think this line in particular is and can be quite powerful. for example;

    Her spirit gone, left no presence
    Her spirit, gone, has left no presence

    though all in all, great poem, enjoyed the read.

  • 18 years ago

    by Kristina

    Aww wow soo sad. but you did a wonderful job writing it. is this based on something that really happened? anyway great job. keep it up! 5/5

    ~Kristina

  • 18 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Awww! Thats such a sad sad poem! I loved the description in it. Its very powerful! Keep writing! xx

  • 18 years ago

    by just a little girl

    That poor girl and i felt her pain, just one question, does this in anyway relate to you or someone you know?

  • 18 years ago

    by master of shadow

    Great peice, the plot is wwell told and very clear and the descriptions well used. it is very powerfully written, the end espessially has a lot of power to it and finishes the peice off well

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