Comments : I miss you more than ill admit

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    It's really an emotion poem but it felt more like a vent more than anything. If this is true then please by all means vent in your own style (this) but if it's a poem then try and add more detail so we, the reader, can feel this pome just as you, the writer, felt when writing it.

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie

    Like Kaylee said. It seems more of a venting poem. Which is good to me. I like venting poems.

    If you did want to make it better. You could maybe add a little more to it. Explain a bit more WHY you hate, love, miss this person. Just dig a little deeper into your emotions. Good job though. Keep it up! 5/5

    `Taleee. xx.

    P.S. If you're wondering why I did this one and not Black tears. It's because I've already done it.

    -*»TaLeEe! ( F P C D ) at 2006-07-03

    If you go to your comments and click on that name, it will take you straight to my profile. =)

  • 18 years ago

    by Darien

    Hmm, I agree with Kaylee and Nat.
    This was indeed a venting poem. It's good to let your emotions flow into a poem, but you need to control them too. But keep on trying.

  • 18 years ago

    by Stephanie

    Mmmm......good storyline and thoughts behind this poem and I feel the same way about my dad in my life. I say I hate him but I guess in a way that's just my way of covering my way of saying I miss him. Well, this poem was good but it could be better if you could get the flow better.

    Good job! 5/5

    Innoc3ntStar

  • 18 years ago

    by xxEvilAngelxx

    Beautifully penned poem. So much emotion is in it and you express it pretty well... Some suggestions are to work on the flow and to include deeper feelings so that readers can also feel what you do. That last stanza is really powerful... idk what you think but i might re-write it to say: I miss you, I love you, but I hate you so much.... That is a more negative tone to it though, so you might not want to do that---Amazing job overall! Keep it up!

    xxEvilAngelxx

  • 16 years ago

    by kelleyana

    Really a great poem but something is missing. I didn't get into the feeling. It seems like you miss this person but life continues, not more or less but overall it a great poem.