My life
it could never be simple
it can never be easier
sometimes i just wish it would end
not because of all the hate i am given
nor the sadness that i intake
but the god damn repeating of going up and down
i get happy
just to fall again
and i fall again
and mock myself when i try to get up
i hate this so much
everything that i want anymore
never works out
i want a boy
each one i like
the love isn't the same
i want friends
each one i love
the liking isn\t the same
i just want this stupid pattern to end
i want people to follow through on things they say
such as saying they will talk about stuff in person
and then never do
and who do i blame for that
them, no
me, probably, do i ever bring it up no
even when i want to talk so badly
i never do
i wish and want them to start
because i feel as if i also have to be the strong one
well the thing is anymore
i am not the strong one
i am weak
or i want to be weak
being strong is getting stressful
hurtful
tiresome
and does anyone care
of course not
not every does or ever will
i just hate this
i just want this stupid f'cking pattern to end
does this mean i have to end the rest of me too, because i will
i am on the edge of a cliff
ready to jump
repeat this pattern one more time
i swear
i am not bluffing this time
i am ready
to end this pain
this game
this pattern
