Malgre

I really thought we would get past it
Believed we'd make it through
Now I know it's different
But it's too painful to be true

We've been the best of friends
You made me feel at peace
You gave me such good memories
Showed me it was great to eat

Surrounded by your laughter
I felt safe and comforted
You helped me push my boundaries
And never stopped making me grin

Now tears are falling as I'm writing
As I remember the past
And how I know I should of known
That it was never going to last

I truly believe friends are angels
Sent by god for us to love
And I'm trying so hard not to be lonely
And think I just wasn't good enough

Because 'friends' don't make you feel like shit
So you think it's all your fault
So take your distaste and empty smiles
And self inducing doubt

If that is all I am to you
A patronizing smile
You can shove your fu(king friendship
Because you are just not worth my time

For all my anger and outrage... I still feel like a part of me is missing without them. I miss them so much, because when I was with them there were no sub plots, no hidden agendas I could just be me and be happy. Really truly happy.

And now? I'm in tears over people who can't even be bothered to give me a real smile.