So far so good... great start... can't wait to read the rest.

Is this about you? I assumed it was about the piano. If so I thought it was really cool. When I was reading it, I could just picture a girl sitting there playing it, Really nice atmosphere you created. Keep it up! 5/5

`taleee xx

Hmm.. this poem is pretty good. It does need a little work, there is definitely something missing, maybe another verse or so, it seemed short. It's a good start though.

Wow.. very good, but i think you kinda need to finish it.. hehe.. cuz it jus misses that last stanza or sumtin, but other than that i love it!
jessy

I didn't realized till the end that you were talking about someone who was playing the piano. well, i kinda did...but it didn't register. nice poem! i've never read anything like this before...which is great. very unique. 5/5

Hey bridge this is one of my other fav poems love you

much love,
Marlena Black

Hey,
I really enjoyed this poem, the repition of "The Angle of Ivory Keys" was excellent and really effective. In the fifth stanza you need ot change "angel" into "Angel" though. (Yes i notice things like that).. I like how you dont acctually know what your acctually talking about until the very end of the poem - this was excellent! I really liked how you described the piano player as an Angel, it creates some sort of magical heavenly imagery and i really liekd that! The overall flow was good. The title catches everyone's attnetion and makes people want to read the poem as they wonder what its about. I really enjoyed this, but to improve i suggest you use punctuation as then the reader can read the poem how you want it to be read! Keep writing! xx

Interesting poem, I like the title and material.

Line 1: 'sitting tall and proud' seems repetitive. The term "sitting tall" denotes pride. Perhaps another word would add more description to the pianist.

Line 5: 'sending' isn't very descriptive. I think you could find another word that would elicit stronger emotions

Line 6 confuses me. I don't see how it fits or transitions.

Line 10: 'sticks' - again, I believe you could come up with a better word. Sticks sounds... out of place - ie. "holds fast to the seat?"

Line 11: I like the adjective, 'wooden' but I think if you use more detail describing the wood it would be better. "oaken majesty"? I dunno. Just a suggestion, I do like this line.

Overall it seems well written. However, I'd say your biggest problem is the 'ing' words. Using active voice would draw the reader in much more effectively and give a more immediate sense of time and location.

Hope this is helpful and not just critical

Interesting poem, I like the title and material.

Line 1: 'sitting tall and proud' seems repetitive. The term "sitting tall" denotes pride. Perhaps another word would add more description to the pianist.

Line 5: 'sending' isn't very descriptive. I think you could find another word that would elicit stronger emotions

Line 6 confuses me. I don't see how it fits or transitions.

Line 10: 'sticks' - again, I believe you could come up with a better word. Sticks sounds... out of place - ie. "holds fast to the seat?"

Line 11: I like the adjective, 'wooden' but I think if you use more detail describing the wood it would be better. "oaken majesty"? I dunno. Just a suggestion, I do like this line.

Overall it seems well written. However, I'd say your biggest problem is the 'ing' words. Using active voice would draw the reader in much more effectively and give a more immediate sense of time and location.

Hope this is helpful and not just critical

I really enjoyed this poem. I thought it was very well written. Great job. The flow was really nice. 5/5

~Chelsea

Very well done! I like that you repeated "The angel of ivory keys"...I do, however agree with most of what "Tamborineman" had to say.. He pretty much summed it all up in his comment.. I still think it was great hough and deserves a 5/5
Tyanna

Did you happen to know this is called a Kyrielle poem? Just wondering if you knew. Lol. Well, I must say this is one wonderful poem! I liked the flow of the poem and the rhyming scheme was perfect. You stuck to the same rhyming pattern. It bugs me when people jump from an aabb to an abab or abcb or abcd. Lol. It gets annoying. Well beautiful poem! God Bless 5/5
<3Tayyyy

"Sitting tall and proud"
It really seems ... too simple . Like overused kind of [not in the poem , like with other poems too] . Maybe find other ways to describe that .

"While her slender body sticks to the seat"
'Sticks' kind of sounds weird to me . In a way, I feel like it doesn`t fit into the poem . Like the vocabulary choice & that word just don`t ... I don`t know how to explain it .

I feel like you should work on it a bit more . Maybe some slight revising and editing ? Other than that, I really have no negative things to say . I like the repitition (sp?) . Most of the time, people try to do that and it just doesn`t work . But you made it fly with the poem .
..__MiNDYY