Pain, how sweet it is.

All the times that I've cried, all the pain I have tasted, all those times where I dropped to the floor and shred my tears, all those times when I layed on bed and cried away, and all those times I have spent all alone, with no one by my side, with no one to understand, with no one to hold my hand, and with no one to ask for their time. Why do I look so sad? these tears in my eyes...pure shame, pure pain, pure darkness, pure anger...resentment, depression, mournful nights of pain....all never go away....I am a dreamer, always dreaming for the hopeless, dreaming for that moment of sweet happiness, dreaming for another beginning, for any forgiveness, for those who I care, wishing to be happy.....I am the dreamer, a dreamer full of sorrow, full of helpless care and thoughts....those thoughts where no one cares and no one understands.....a dreamer that dreams peace all around...but whom one deteriorates his own peace. Tears and Tears....a face where tears know their way, where they run through night after night....unsatisfaction is what i call it....this face of mine, known for smiles and frowns.....soaks wet in pain before going to bed....waking up to a nightmare instead of a bright morning. The sun don't shine anymore....the moon is my only light left. Music is my relief, tears are my release, and writing is my thought....words come and go, faces never glow....not permanently...not mine. And even if life seems to go easy on me most of the time....chaos and preoccupation, full of no heroes and no love or glory...only pride and laughter keep me up.....looked in the mirror many times, asked many questions.....yet, I see and find myself deeper in this hole, where no one sees, where no one seeks, where no one hears or comprehends.....it is all me...it is the hole where my life is buried...where I open my eyes to see only darkness, and that light that seems unreachable....All I hear is ambulances, dog barks, baby cries, and and that frustration inside my head.....help, help before this thunder of mine blows me away.