What if I do?

What if I do go to hell?
So what.
Its not like I don't care,
but what if I don't?
What if I don't care that I don't?

Its not fair of Him.
Those people were mine.
How often can He hurt me,
And how many times?

How much can I hate Him?
How much will it take?
What If he wont stop?
and what if I break?

My beautiful friends, and
My beautiful family.
How can He do this,
tell me! How can He?

People tell me He loves me..
and so does the Book.
But what a nice way to show me..
With all the loved ones He took.

I used to think He loved me.
Id swear that He did.
But now I'm not so sure
That I'm even His kid.

He tells me I'm his daughter
and the pain will soon go away.
But I don't think Ill make it
Through even the shortest stay.

He sends me people who hate me
and takes the people I love.
Just how much abuse should
I take from my father above.

What If I do go to hell?
So what.
Its not like I don't care,
but what if I don't?
What if I don't care that I don't?