Unfairness.

She stared at the sharp knife,
lying on the table.
she thought of all the incidents,
which have led her to this path.
the path of ultimate destruction.

memories of her failures,
flashed in her mind.
they appeared one after another,
and soon, her whole life was played like a video,
silently in her head.

she remembered all the times she had failed.
even after the hard work.
she remembered the feelings she had experienced.
despair;disappointment;anger;sadness
and finally.. nothing.
now, thinking about all these,
her heart ached.
the feelings she had felt at that time,
now flooded back to her,
a thousand times intensified.
making the pain more unbearable.
she remembered how her friends sometimes treated her.
to them, the acts may be funny,
but sometimes, it was not so.
she felt hurt by her friends.
friends she had been loyal to,
showed support and concern for,
and most importantly,
lent a listening ear to.

after some time,
she returned to reality,
returned to her bedroom.
the knife was still untouched.
does she really have to do this?
yes, she decided.
the only way to end the pain,
the hurt,
and everything else
depends on the knife and her will.

she started cutting herself.
blood started to drip.
she stared at the droplets of blood.
feeling elated.
she felt a different kind of pain.
and this time,
the pain was welcomed.

suddenly,
she thought of her parents,
her brother,
and her relatives.
people who believed in her,
people who truly cared for her.
she thought of how they would feel when she's gone.
she put herself in their shoes.
and she realized,
that they will experience grief and more grief.
can she bear to hurt her parents?
parents she have loved so much?
she was confused.

the whole world seemed to be spinning,
while she thought through everything.
the floor had a puddle of blood.
bright red in color,
seemingly out of place in her orangey room,
her room which seems so innocent.
she felt so weak...
so this is how it feels like to die, she thought.
but, she cannot do it.
she cannot bring herself to cause her parents grief.
she know how it feels like.
to be so terribly sad.
and so the last thing she remembered was..
dialing the number for ambulance.

sun shone through the room.
her head hurt when she tried to move.
she realized that she is in the hospital ward.
her parents worried faces,
were right in front of her.
she felt so guilty.
sorry, she whispered.
her parents squeezed her hand in reply.
she scolded herself in her head.
she told herself,
not to remain sad.
she told herself to move on,
to get up on her feet once more.
she vowed to be a better person.
this incident had made her stronger
and she feels different already.
she knew she can do it.
she has the strength.

on the day of discharge,
her parents came to fetch her.
she was feeling so much better.
she felt happy, for once.
after such a long time.
she chatted with her parents.
and said she love them.
BANG!
suddenly.. she found herself thrown out of the car window.
her parents screams could be heard.
she landed on the ground, with a loud thud.
she felt a sharp pain in her head,
replaced with numbness.
she saw her parents rushing toward her.
begging her to hold on.
tears were streaming down their faces.
she finally understood wad was going on:
she was going to die.
she knew it.
she felt angry.
WHY?
she asked herself.
why make her die when she had promised,
to become a better person?
why make her parents go through such pain?
all the questions she had,
will never be answered...
but, she tried consoling herself.
she told herself that,
she will die being a good person.
and so,
she died in her parents arms,
with a faint smile on her face..