This was good.. the descriptions were really powerful and you used great words to describe them! but the flow was a little off again..

bled to death
^ should be "bleed" not "bled"

nice job, ill give it a 4/5!

Sounds like it could be a song or something like that. For a poem the flow did have some flaws but loved the words and wording and how great the imagery was. It described things so well. Nice job for that. The ending was really, exceptionally strong.
~Faith-less