I tried my hardest for you to see
Everything i have done
You were the cause of my impulsiveness
And now self-respect i have none
I changed myself
Brought out the best in me
For your admiration
I accomplished these things
I would force the tears
to stay in my eyes
I had to be dedicated
I silenced my cries
And every night i go to sleep
There's only one i dream about
I'd take pills to stop the mocking
Shove the whole fist in my mouth...
When those things didn't work
I would cut myself hoping for your pity
Your attention was much more important
Than my already tainted dignity
I'd pierce myself just so i can feel
The pain that goes through my skin
I did this to block the pain
you brought in
There's was so much chaos in my head
They thought i was going insane
I would try and convince them
It was you who have caused me this pain
but no one would listen no one could hear
The cries i pleaded
No; not even you
the boy who i've so much dreaded
I was slowly driving my sanity away
I'd cry throughout night and day
There was no escape from thoughts of you
I remembered you in everything i do
I dedicated my life for your best interest
Not knowing this would be the reason of my final rest
That one final night
i only dreamed of you
But the feeling...god, the feeling
It was still dangerously true
I finally accepted that you only cared for yourself
this knife is the only thing that could help
I cried myself to sleep as usual as every night
but this time it would be permanent. i've given up the fight.
