Crying

by Jaime   May 15, 2006


Crying

It's a sign that you are overwhelmed
That you're no longer in control
You're not strong enough to smile
You've lost the spark in your soul

It means that you are frustrated
And you must rely on a friend
You've predicted thunderstorms
Before the sun comes out again

It's announcing how weak you are
That you can't deal with your situation
When the only thing you know to do
Is sit in miserable hesitation

But next time you feel like crying
Look closer, I promise you'll find
Depression is a controllable factor
It only exists in your mind

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Letty

    I really couldn't get into this one as well as I did the others, because again here the rhyming seems forced and the missing punctuation. I loved the whole concept of the poem and the message that you were trying to convey. But sense you had it in the sad section I was expecting it to be sad. I really couldn't feel any of the emotion in this poem. I think it was a great beginning, but I think that it needs more work. As I said from what I have seen in some of your poems, this is not your best work. This sort of seems like a rush job. I did like it so I'm giving you a 4/5. And again I hope my comment didn't upset you, but when you entered the contest I promised to be honest with my commenting and rating. I know that you can do much better then what I have read here, and when you do I would love to be one of the first to read it. Keep up the great writing hun! I'm looking forward to reading much more.

    Love
    Letty

  • 18 years ago

    by Daniel J

    Hmm. I'm afraid I just don't agree with the content of the poem. Whilst it's certainly one point of view, I don't view crying as a weakness, as most people do.

    I see it more as a need to release pain, emotional or otherwise... no use building it all up.

    Aside from this..."small" ... disagreement, I think everything is fine and dandy as per usual with your work, including how you put the message across.

    Well done.

  • 18 years ago

    by master of shadow

    Fantastic peice, esspessially the end has a great message. the flow and content are good, well well composed throguhout 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Mandi

    O-M-G this is a good poem!! You write good> I look forward to reading more!! Keep it up!! Mandi:)

  • 18 years ago

    by physco

    OMG THATS AMAZING