Right Now Im Not Okay, I Need Him To This Point..

Yea,
ya know what? I\\\\\\\'m absolutely in love with my best friend Dillon and I\\\\\\\'m terrified if i go up to him and say \\\\\\\"Dillon I know we\\\\\\\'re best friends but..i like you More then that\\\\\\\" and he were to say \\\\\\\"ugh OK?\\\\\\\" i would problem run down the hall balling my eyes out and hating myself for the rest of my life, but from time to time i think maybe he likes me i mean he tells me he loves me and puts his arm around me and beats the hell out of anyone who messes with me and he kisses my head when he does something wrong...
i decate this poem to you Dillon For You Might Never Know.....

i think about telling him
from time to time when he\\\\\\\'s walking down the hallway with me holding on to me saying \\\\\\\" i love you Ema-Lee\\\\\\\" a million times so i won get mad at him.
and when people say \\\\\\\"aw u guys make a cute couple, n he says \\\\\\\"we\\\\\\\'re not going out\\\\\\\" and when people ask us how long we\\\\\\\'ve been together and he says \\\\\\\"never\\\\\\\".
sometimes...
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sometimes actually 60 present of the time when he\\\\\\\'s starring at me and I\\\\\\\'m pretending i don\\\\\\\'t know i wanna lean over the lunch table and kiss him and say \\\\\\\"Dillon, i love you\\\\\\\".
and sometime only sometime i think he does like me but then i think its just an awkward friendship we have, flirting is just something we accidentally do.
and then SOMETIMES..

when he\\\\\\\'s screaming for me and I\\\\\\\'m just walking away and he\\\\\\\'s saying \\\\\\\"Ema-lee!! wait for me!\\\\\\\"
and i walk faster just so he wont see my crying because *those* times, i think how much he wants her.
Ashley one of my best friends he has completely fallen for. and theres nothing i can do about it.

PS:please comment i need advice because right now i don\\\\\\\'t have a best friend to talk to....