That was an excellent poem. The final stanza is especially striking. I really enjoyed reading this, all the way through the poem flows very gently, there seems to be little urgency about it and this helps to create a feeling of seduction, "Twirling around my little finger". But to end on such a vicious and rapid note was inpsired,
"Stabbing, tearing, ripping flesh
Bleeding, pouring, my hand of death
The pain surrounds
And I forget
The darkness comes
And I regret "
You complete break the pattern and it makes the whole thing all the more shocking and powerful. I really really loved this one, 5/5! x

This is a good poem! I think u r really doing good for just starting to write poems! I am a starter and I dont think I am very good ethier! But everybody tells me I am! U should check out my poems! 5/5 hehe

That was such a sad poem. the repetition and the occasional striking rhyme that catched, surrounded by all the chaotic raw emotion. it has a sort of solemn pain to it. really bautiful writing.
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Hey Thanks bunches for the comment.... i love this poem of yours... and some of yours i can get where you are coming from and relate to them too... im just really getting good at this too... i started writing years ago but some of them are really bad but im still workin on it all... but yours are excellent....

Wow that was just so hauntingly real, it brought a tear to my eye, especially the last section which was so urgent and so true, i can so understand your work and it's all amazing!!
5/5 def!!