How i am...

People say I'm horrible,
Others say I'm funny,
But I can't help but be me,
Because that's what I am.

I get so down and sad,
So moody and tired,
Moany and out of control,
And just scream out loud.

I try to hide it,
Differently at school,
Sometimes I drink,
Sometimes I just forget everything.

I just want everything to go,
Everything that's confusing me,
Everything that's upsetting me,
Everything I knew or know.

I act like a laugh,
Cheerful and happy,
To try drown out the thoughts,
It's never helped at all.

I just wish I could go,
Somewhere quiet were,
None one would be,
And scream my lungs out.

I try not to shout,
And I try not to be sad,
I try to be helpful,
Has it got me anywhere?

I stick my head on the pillow,
Ready for the night,
Then getting everything,
Buzzing in my head.

I could scream,
I could cry,
I could be really mean,
I could be me.

I wish I was different,
I wish I was normal,
I wish I was happy,
I wish I was you!

I never had true feelings,
I'm not sure if I still do,
I feel so wasted that,
I just don't belong anywhere.

Does anyone understand?
Does anyone feel my pain?
Does anyone know me,
And does anyone really care?

These question I can't answer,
I don't no me, At least,
I don't think I do,
Maybe I do just can't show it.

I just I could let the real me out,
Not be scared of anything,
Believe what you've said,
Believe in you and myself.

During the days and nights,
I grow to understand,
To understand you and me,
So thank you for making me notice,
Who I really am inside.