Ashamed

Sadness is everything that lies behind these eyes,
Covered up with a fake smile,
You hear those rumors.
The ones that are true.
Oh you tried so hard to keep them in,
And your heart shatters into a million pieces.
Sometimes paper is the only thing that will understand..
The only one that will listen.
The only one who wonâ??t judge.
Sadness is everything that lies behind these eyes,
Covered up with a fake smile,
So no one can see the way I really feel.
Why is my soul lost inside such misplaced vanity?
Not able to look beyond outwardly beauty,
Ashamed of who I am.
Ashamed of how I am.
Ashamed to be myself,
Ashamed of my mother, my father, and brother,
Ashamed of my faith,
Ashamed to disgrace.
And I canâ??t look past the way I think.
The loss I feel,
Like a sinking ship.
You broke my heart,
You made it black,
You made me ashamed for ever saying that,
I loved you, but I donâ??t anymore.
Iâ??m ashamed of loving you ever at all.
Ashamed to be seen with you,
Ashamed that I still have faith in you,
Faith in us,
And who we once were.
Ashamed of thinking I could still love you.
After all youâ??ve done, it isnâ??t fair,
Ashamed of the fact that Iâ??m starting to care.