Regretting all wrongs from rights

"I don't know".
"I didn't think".
"I'm sorry OK"?
The words that come out are everything I shouldn't say.
"Sorry, Sorry, Sorry is just a word to you"
"You jealous cow you can't handle what the world throws at you!"

It hurts because what she's saying is true,
I thought I could trust him but I can't trust myself,
I feel sick from the worry, and living in hell,
I've seen it all happen and I saw how things fell,
But you never think that, that time will come around,
When the spotlights on you and hatred backfires, rebounds.

Your mouth can't string enough words together,
To explain yourself, you mumble and stutter,
And my hand is shaky as I call your phone,
Knowing you hate me, knowing I've let you down.
You shout and you scream with every right,
"Can't we just sit and talk"? Even if it takes all night.

My butterflies are fluttering more hectic than ever,
I can barely focus on putting this stanza together,
I can't do anything; I'm like a puppet without strings,
I can't turn back time, or re-live that particular scene.
I wish I could and believe me I would,
I'd be helping you out, and supporting you like I should.

I am a real friend; you must know that deep down,
Because I always bought you a smile when you'd only wear a frown,
Won't you understand that we all make mistakes?
And sometimes in life we take risks we shouldn't take.
Friends come before guys with no messing about,
But I've just got my red card and I've got my time out.

I wish I could say sorry too many times,
But you don't want to hear my regretful cries,
Biting my nails, and twiddling my thumbs,
Sitting here I feel nothing, just empty and numb.
I think to myself how could he let me down?
But you think I have no right to say I've been let down.

You talk. I'm Silent. I'm lost for words,
Cos I know your right and that I'm a coward,
For acting so foolishly and telling him what matters to you,
Why couldn't I have told you? Because that would have been the decent thing to do.
And If I can't say or do anything right?
Then how am I to defend my end of the fight?

I look at it this way, if I was you,
I'd want to talk about why, you felt you had to.
And from then on, If people found out,
I'd admit it, "yeah", and flaunt all I am about.
Why won't you forgive me? You should carry no shame,
It will be part of your life whether you go for poverty or fame.

I'm tired of saying my roundabout things,
Because I know that nothing will be the same, whatever fate brings,
If I had it my way, I'd be with you right now,
Tears down our faces as we continuously row,
But it wouldn't matter because there'd be a rainbow after the storm and,
All hurt would be over, we'd forgive and forget, and that would be the end of our trauma.