I'll keep it to myself

I tried to figure it out,
after all I've ever wanted,
you left,
sometimes I feel haunted.

I never really realized,
but I'm strong enough to get over it,
I never once thought..
that all I wanted wouldn't fit.

I've felt my heart tear,
seen the bloody bruised knees,
seemed to come out of my body just to see me helpless and falling down,
just to watch myself beg "Dear God, please"

I've felt love,
and despised hate,
I have questions for you and you aren't here to hear them,
I guess I'm late.

You ended with a question,
my breath caught,
you were supposed to stay and show me I was worth something,
it means everything after all the broken dreams I've sought.

I never realized it,
but the crying always catches me by surprise,
I never notice what I'm thinking about,
I'll never blame you for the lies.

I'll keep it to myself though,
don't want you knowing how much this means,
I'll never remind you,
you were the only one who could ever silence my empty screams.