Test of self doubt

The story of my life
what is it about
was i an experiment
to test self doubt

pain just consumes me
night after night
and i begin to wonder
whether I'll win the fight

life is a struggle
its clear for all to see
but how much i can take
is a challenge to me

knock back after knock back
hate after hate
rejection after rejection
seems to tell my fate

as the blade engraves my skin
i remember all the pain
i begin to think I'm lying
and then I'm flooded with shame

i think that its all my fault
that i asked for this life
wanted to be hurt
make friends with the knife

i think I'm someones tests
to see how much one girl can take
see how long it will be
until she begins to break

well the test can end
because today i finally broke
i cant take this world no more
i wish that i never woke

so take this faded life
rip open my soul
kill this lonely girl
because I'm no longer whole

the letter will be in my hand
as i choose my own fate
it will tell the story
of my self hate