Comments : My Mountain (Haiku)

  • 18 years ago

    by PS

    Aww so sad. ill come sit with you. you do a great job of capturing the sadness within three lines.

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    It was an okay poem, I'm not much a fan of the style, but it captured a sense of being lonely.

  • 18 years ago

    by sfiawong

    It looks not very likely a haiku.
    but I like your concept. You seemed so lonely requesting someone sit with you. Good message.

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    I feel like your haiku would gain more if you didn't use the first person at all. I think one of the beautiful things that haikus can accomplish is a implicit connection between nature and man. This haiku, on the other hand, made that connection explicit. By simply talking about the mountain's loneliness, you could imply to the reader that you are lonely as well.

  • 18 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Nice and simple

  • This poem was just okay for me, i guess i dont really like he Haiku style!!! But u did capture the sadness with jsut 3 lines!! good job!!! 4/5

  • 18 years ago

    by IfIhide11

    Frankly I liked it alot. I is so hard to write a haiku. You did bend the rules though. But I'm glad you did.

    -ifihide11