Life without a father.

As she cries herself to sleep,
She weeps, thinking
How much longer until things get better?
She prays to God, fists clenched,
Until her knuckles turn white,
and her eyes bloodshot red.
Though she leaves numerous prayer requests unsaid,
She buries her damp face under the covers,
And falls asleep wishing that she would wake up fully recovered.

Of course, she wakes up the same,
She is fed up with this game.
Does everybody experience such an excruciating strife,
Or was she the lucky one to be given such a dreadful life?
Fifteen is too young to be questioning your existence,
It could not be normal to feel such resistance.

His words haunt her every time she is alone,
Why she is still mourning after a year is unknown.

As he is going happily about in his new child-free life,
She tears up at the thought of them missing all this time that will never be made up.
He will never see her grow and mature during her teenage years,
Never be able to help her try her tears,
Never help her overcome her fears- for he is her worst fear.
But she is just now noticing that,
Just now seeing that he ruined everything she had.
When he walked out of her life a year ago,
He took her self-esteem, ability to trust, and a piece of her heart with him,
and maybe one day, she'll get some of it back.

yet she would do anything to see him just one last time.
TO smell the familiar sent of the cologne he always used to wear,
To tell him how much she missed him and never ceased to care,
And make sure he is aware of his gradually increasing gray hair.

Though this man permanently damaged her,
There are no words to describe how much she misses her father.

You never know how much you love something until it is gone,
And by then it will be too late.
Hopefully, it will not come to the point where the relationship develops hate,
But do not wait,
Be grateful for what God has given you.
Save it,
Cherish it,
For as long as you can,
Because tomorrow,
It may be gone.