Wondeful! This was really good. Loved it from start to finish. Loved how you said 'Who's there, Whats that, Why me' That was cool. Keep up the awesome work. 5/5

`taleee xx

OMG! I just loved the title more than anything...it grabed my attention right away..I just clicked on your name not knowing which one I'd read and this title caught my eye! Nice write! This gave me the chills a little bit!

Force me to my knees, listen to my screams
You're sinister laugh, shatters broken dreams
[Really really liked that stanza. It was really well written.]

I also really liked how you asked questions at the start of the poem. I thought that worked really well. It was a great poem. Keep it up! 5/5

Natalie``

"you're sinister laugh" should be "your".

I like the repetition of "the cough in the distance". There's little consistency in the writing style of this poem but I don't think that takes away from it at all. It's very interesting.

Nice. i like how it changes half way through, and the rhyming couplets match the rhyming of the first half...a great touch!

-biscuit-

Pretty clever poem, I liked the repitition in this one. It actually did a good job. Bizarre poem though, but that's most dark poetry for ya. Good stuff.

Ooh scary! I don't think I can sleep tonight lol
excellant word choice to create a chilling atmosphere.

Soon as I reach the point, of ultimate decay
The cough in the distance, slowly fades away . . .

Loved this conclusion it gives me the shivers.

Great work! loved the detailing. it really painted a picture. loved it! 5/5

Ok...shivers yes..i got those, but I loved the style of the poem and the descriptions you used. Great job! Jpoet*