Under pressure

by The Angel of Secrets   May 22, 2006


This dark secret, this dark night,
This thing of cold, this thing without light.
Under all expectations, in anyones mind,
She was supposed to be perfect, supposed to be kind.
Under her skin, inside her head,
This fear of disappointing, every night in her bed.
"Did I do good enough" is behind all her thoughts,
For the grades she has, hard she fought.
"They only care about me being good"
But when she failed, alone she stood.
All alone, her mind went black,
In her memory, she know she had to go back.
He will hit me, my face and his fist,
Outside there will be a mysterious mist.
The mist is silver, the mist is her,
Her guardian angel, the parent she prefer.
The echo of her angel, the echo of her mother,
Which her dad tried to replace fast by another.
Her mother is angry, yet for her daughter she is nice,
But he abused her so bad, he have to pay the price.
"Its over, its over" her mother tries to shout,
She grabs her husband, and throws him out.
"Leave now, and never come back!
How dare you take her, how dare you attack?
I called the police, gave them proof,
that you didn't give her home, you gave her roof.
You never cared, and you always yell,
Goodbye so called daddy, go to hell!"

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Your poems are so moving, perfect rhymes and rhythm

  • 18 years ago

    by Jessica

    Wow.. so much emotion was flowing throughout this poem, it was soo sad! you really have a talent and you should use it to its full potential, just correct up all your little grammer mistakes and i am sure everything would be perfect! 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Lisa

    Fantastic write...i really mean that....you have a remarkable talent.

  • 18 years ago

    by Wasted Fake Smiles

    Wow u use so many detailed words in every poem it really paints a picture!

  • 18 years ago

    by ShadowedPhoenix

    This poem is very good, I'm impressed! I loved the ending, it was very powerful and well written. The poem flows nicely but in places it feels as if the rhyming is forced and that
    detracts from the emotion of the poem
    e.g
    He will hit me, my face and his fist,
    Outside there will be a mysterious mist

    I called the police, gave them proof,
    that you didn't give her home, you gave her roof.

    Also one line you say grabbers? i think you meant to say grabs....Am i right? lol my english is not all that good so if i'm wrong let me know, something new to learn:)
    But after all that and bearing in mind your age, i'll give you 5.
    You are amazingly good for 14. Can't wait to read more of your work!

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