Do I Regret It?

I'll look to see,
To see what i've done,
To be proud of this chaos
Of the destruction i've caused.
The fury i felt,
Will rise again,
My guilt, with my regret,
A far far away place.
So distant, will it ever be found?
Locate and look back,
Look back and there i'll see.
See the pain or maybe just
The disapointment?
See the pain you felt,
As you took your final breath,
Thats when i'll morn,
Morn for my lost love.
For the love i can't ever have back.

about my first, and only love, the one relationship nothing else has become close to, but for some unknown reason i did everything i could to destroy it, thinking that 3ishyrs of honesty and trust, could be flushed away with out a thought, it probally took 2/3 months before i realised the true extent of the pain i put my self through.i destroyed my friendship with my one true love for no reason! no reason what so ever. after we broke up i thought it'll be easyer to get over him, if he hated me. stupid mistake!!!!!
i'm sorry!