Can You Ever Really Start Over??

Tulips
Spring time
Starting over
New life

But, how do you start over, with all the memories?
How do you ever forget the past?
Is there any way to erase what's already been done??

When you try to forget something that you've known so well & for so long
It's like trying to remember something that never really happened
Someone you've never even met

For, even if I could "start over"
"Forget" how good it feels
"Erase" the scars....
I would still be broken
My heart has been shattered too many times
I will never be whole again

And even that's impossible
See, once it's in your head, you become this strange new breed....
A life form that loves to fantasize it's own demise

And forgetting becomes like trying to wash off a permanent tattoo with soap and water
It'll never work
And the harder you scrub, the longer you work at it, the harder you try
The more frustrated you will become
Until it eventually leads to madness

You can cover it up, but it'll always be there, underneath

See, even if I was given some sort of ECT or laser treatment
I could develop a sort of amnesia....
But even without remembering the past
I would still feel the hole
The ever-present, aching gap in my chest
Where my heart's supposed to be

And all I have to do is look down
See the scars on my arms & legs
To be forever reminded of how much better it felt
Putting them there in the first place