Dieing Inside..

This is really long but please take the time to read it..this is how i have felt today...thanks everyone..
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I'm sitting in my room,
Thinking about so many things.
I don't know how to do this,
Fight all of these feelings.

I'm mad and hurt,
I don't want to lose the one I love.
I can't stop loving him,
Even though he's not from up above.

Hurting so much,
I just want to die.
At least if I'm dead,
No tears will come from these eyes.

Dieing inside,
Slowly falling apart.
Having bad feelings,
Will they ever depart?

Will everything always be wrong?
Why can't anything be right?
Why do I lay in bed and cry,
While holding my pillow tight.

Dieing inside,
But it's OK,
Because nobody cares,
I don't want to face another day.

Every things messed up,
For once I want it all to be all right.
I don't want to sit back and,
Have this constant battle and fight.

I'm tired of hurting,
Having tears fall.
Just when I think every things OK,
I open my eyes and realize I'm losing it all.

My family's falling apart,
My one true love has to go.
I can't even talk to him,
Everyone thinks my feelings will just not show.

But I can't ignore these feelings,
When they're so strong.
Just for once I want something to be right,
Not constantly and always wrong.

Just when I start to see the light,
Darkness gets thrown in my path.
I can't fight this battle,
You sit back and do the math.

Add up all the pain I feel,
With the tears I cry.
They will equal the reason,
Why I just want to die.

Dieing inside slowly,
But does anyone care?
I don't want to feel these feelings,
I don't want to share.

Share my pain,
It's becoming so much.
I don't want everyone to worry,
I don't want them to be crushed.

I just want to leave,
Because then no one has to worry about me.
No one will have to wonder if I'm OK,
They can just forget the "poor little me".

Dieing inside,
I want to say goodbye.
I want my family happy,
No more tears from these eyes..