Regretting You

You messed up my life again
Turned my shielding hope into a lie
Still you act like I already knew
Looking at me like I knew my words weren't true
I'll ignore my impending doom
Focus on the now I can only just see

I know you love and care
But that lie was my hope to keep
Just kill my plans like they were never made
I'll downed silently in a sea of fear
A splash and choke in front of your eyes
You won't move
Yet you throw in a new toy
A distraction from my need to breath

Just ignore the big problem
I'm sure you preach "It'll be better in the end"
A lie I practice, with avoidance
Don't worry about how I'll grow
My roots ripped out
I'll sprout new ones
Just let me stay numb to the ripping
A pain I don't want twice
Why feel what I want to denie
I'll just be numb to what I can forget