Great poem i loved it girl please write another poem im dying to hear some more lol!!

Sad and gut wrenching. Very poignant.

Wow, that was a very terrifying poem. So sad, and so powerful. It scares me to know that kids can carry guns to school. A very good poem, I like the story from beginning to.. well, the ending was sad, but the heroine must die sometimes. Very creative write, I'm not sure if it's a story that happened to someone you know, or something you heard, but I'm sure it's true, somewhere in the world at least. Awesome stuff!

I liked this one in particular.
It shows a situation that could happen anywhere all over the world.
Like Darien, it shocks me to think people would bring knifes to a place of learning where people should feel safe.
Great Poem !

Awesome poem Tinyd! I teach school so your poem really hits home. I loved the way you rhymed your sentences. It flowed smoothly but at the same time the pace made my heart flutter.
Nate aka "The Tie Guy"

Ok TinyD, here is your critique.... it's heartfelt, emotional and beautifully written. There really isn't anything I would change except to delete 2 words, and they are, 4th stanza "when" and 7th stanza "and" Other than that, the rhyme and flow make for a wonderful read that tells a very sad story.......

It's so so so sad

I fukin loved dis poem its so sad!!5/5 babez! well done!

I especially like this stanza:

As she falls onto the floor
The tears fall from her eye
She wonders who will be the one
To tell her mom goodbye

That is so touching!! Great job

Poignant and amazing!!! wow...

That was good. You know the sad thing is that really does happen.

Wow o my goodness im at a loss of words this was one of the sadest poems i have ever read i wanted to cry the messages is amazing you never know when it could all end makes you think huh keep up the amazing work 5.5

Wow, thats really good. it sounds like something i would write. Its amazed me!! Your a great poet. Do you think you could check some of mine out?

Thanx
Amberinaa**

Omg as soon as i read the first line i knew it was sad
it was amazing a streak of tears came down my chek then
it was so sad
xoxroxyxox

Hey, this is really good...i got cold shivers when i read this..it's so scary, and i know that it happens around the world...makes you realize how much ppl actually take for granted...great job..take care..5/5
~Luv Alwayz Knoxy

It may have a depressing story...
but the poem was awesome..
The flow and rhythm, words, the way you wrote it just all ties in perfectly..
Keep it up :D

I love the flow of your poem
and its simpleness...
it really has something...
and your choice of its story is unique....

Wow that is really sad.. it gave me chills.. You did a great job on this!

Wow, I absoloutely LOVE this poem, it's very well written, with a deep meaning and you can really picture the words you've used throughout this poem.. nice job

comment mine please thanx.

It maybe another story behind this.
Anyway it's awesome
Great work you done
Keep it up!