Kissing sorry goodbye

I'm so pathetic, so weak
i can't even stand up for myself
i fall to my knees
i bleed

tears stream
still i don't care
i remember that kiss
his hands through my hair
scared i'd miss
and i did
but we just laughed and he pulled me in
hugged me so deep
so close
my eyes rest in his
now i weep, lost hope
my best were his

frustration settles in
i'm sorry, again and again
i thought it's what he wanted to hear
i thought that if i said it, he would hold me so near

i'm sorry
i despise those words
not nearly as much as I Don't Know
but they almost compare

my heart sinks
i know you've heard this before
you feel the same way
yes, but you don't
okay, yes you do
but not in the way i percieve
and to me
this is hell on earth and i can't escape this boy
nothing hurts more

but i don't want him back
as a matter of fact
i wish him a good life
and as i write
i put away my knife
save it for another night

and kiss sorry goodbye

-kira t